Botox: The Tiny Pricks We Pay For
And the quiet ache behind our need to be seen…
1 August 2025
• 1,621 words • 10 min read
Honouring Age Over Obsession with Youth
It feels a bit too “supermarket checkout magazine – blah blah blah” to start with society’s obsession with youth and smoothness, so I won’t. I’d rather wave a banner for something more deserving: the honouring of age. I’m talking about more than giving up a bus seat here or there - I mean proper reverence. Actual respect. Respect for the years lived, the things endured, the lessons learned. And, yes, even the gradual breakdown of the body.
The moment before judgment. The moment she just sees.
What Is Botox, Really? A Beginner’s Guide
Just in case I'm not the only one who doesn't know much about it, Botox is a brand name. Its active ingredient is botulinum toxin type A, a purified neurotoxin produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum. There are other brands (e.g. Dysport, Xeomin), but Botox is the one which stuck in the public’s imagination - a bit likeViagra or Band-Aid. One stiffens things up, the other smooths them out. Both wildly misunderstood.
5 Fascinating Botox Facts You Probably Didn’t Know
Because every day is a school day, here are some fun facts (Not fun fun, obviously - but the kind of fun that makes you go “ahhh, so that’s what I’ve been injecting into my forehead…”):
You might be wondering what a neurotoxin is. “Neuro” means nerves, including the brain and the rest of the nervous system. “Toxin” means poison. So:
Neuro + Toxin = Neurotoxin = a poison that affects nerves.
It was originally used medically to treat things like eye twitching and muscle spasms. Its cosmetic use was discovered when patients noticed the treated areas also looked smoother and more youthful.
Botox doesn't fill wrinkles. Dermal fillers (like Juvederm or Restylane) do that.
Botox temporarily paralyses muscles by blocking nerve signals. When those facial muscles stop contracting, the skin above them relaxes, softening or erasing wrinkles caused by movement. These are called “dynamic wrinkles.”
Botox is most often used for forehead lines, frown lines between the eyebrows (known as 11s), and “crow’s feet” around the eyes.
What Your Forehead Is Trying to Tell the World
I had a little surf around the Internet to find just some of the expressions that the forehead is responsible for. They include: surprise, shock, curiosity, interest, empathy, concern, hope, anticipation, scepticism, uncertainty, playfulness, mischief, focus and confusion. This is by no means an exhaustive list and yet think of the life, the wonderful life and expression held right there… The “11’s” are used when we frown, squint, concentrate or glare, and, of course, so many more.
Why Erasing Emotion from Our Faces Is So Troubling
It’s funny how some of those lines come from delight and others from despair. The ones that stretch across the forehead seem to say “I’m listening” or “Oh wow,” while the little vertical creases between the brows declare, “Are you kidding me?” or “OMFG.” Emotion writes itself on the face - it just uses different fonts.
But somewhere along the way, we began erasing those fonts. To iron them out. To tidy the script of a life lived, until the face no longer reads like a story but a smooth, silent surface. When exactly did we agree that humanity should be hidden? When did we stop celebrating the wonder of who we are?
Smoothness is silence. The cracks speak.
The Joy and Ritual of Adornment - Until It Fades
In this iteration on earth, I’ve been lucky enough to inhabit the form of a reasonably attractive female - and I’ve loved goddessing myself every step of the way. Lipstick, gloss, mascara, powder. Brows and upper lips, waxed or threaded. Lashes extended, tinted, lifted. Legs (et al) shaved. Fingernails painted, toes bright. Grey roots covered with colours to die for. I’ve adored the ritual of it all.
Becoming Invisible: The Slow Shift That Comes with Age
I used to try to do “no-makeup Sundays” - a kind of cheeky rebellion where I’d mostly avoid leaving the house. Just me and my unadorned face enjoying the quiet freedom of not trying. But these days, that small act of defiance has slipped into the rest of the week. What was once an occasional Sunday is now more like four days out of seven - and if I need to duck to the shops barefaced, so be it. Some of that is lifestyle, sure. But some of it is something deeper: I’m getting older. And with that… I’m becoming more invisible.
She used to contour. Now she’s perfecting the art of showing up.
Pride vs Pressure: Navigating Beauty Standards as We Age
Don’t get me wrong - I’ve always adored the glamour, the preening, the ritual of getting ready. I still do. It’s just… sometimes I don’t feel like showing up for it. And sometimes, I like who I am without it too. And yes, I still love it when people take pride in themselves - me included. But there’s pride, and then there’s pressure. One lifts you up. The other flattens you.
Two things are certain - nobody cares whether I’m wearing makeup or not, and Botox in my forehead won’t change that. We all age, just as we all once tumbled through puberty - back when we learned (or were taught) to dress for attention, to be seen, to be desirable. These days, I find I care less and less. Aging isn’t something to dodge; it’s something to pass through. A rite of passage, just like the rest.
No Pamphlets for Menopause: The Fire and the Fragility
Let’s be clear - this phase isn’t easy. But then again, neither was puberty. At least puberty came with pamphlets. Here, you get no warning. One day you’re fine, the next you’ve got wolf hairs, night sweats, mood swings, mystery aches, and a libido that’s wandered off without leaving a note. Yes, you save on heating bills - but at what cost? It’s a strange alchemy of fire and fragility - and it’s not for the faint-hearted.
Why Midlife Deserves Applause, Not Shame
If anything, I think those of us who’ve made it through menopause should be wearing the scars like medals. No one warns you how brutal it can be - the hormone chaos, the sleep disturbances, the way your body feels like it’s shrugging off the version of you that once felt familiar. And yet we survive it. Quietly, without parades or recognition. I’m starting to believe that midlife shouldn’t be met with silence or shame - it should be met with applause. You don’t get to this part of life without becoming someone stronger, wiser, sharper, and more tender all at once. That deserves to be seen, not smoothed over.
Just because the world looks away doesn’t mean she’s gone.
Aging, Botox, and the Reverence We’ve Forgotten
And while we worship at the altar of youth - with injectables and enhancements that attempt to press pause - I can’t help but feel the gap widens. The gap between the glorification of youth and the reverence owed to age. Between the filtered face and the one etched with experience. Between blindness and wisdom.
The Parkinson’s Mask: A Strange Twist of Fate
It’s a strange twist of fate that just as some people are smoothing out their faces on purpose, mine has started doing it without asking. Parkinson’s, it turns out, comes with a little bonus feature known as the “mask” (hypomimia) - a gradual loss of facial expression that makes it harder to look surprised, concerned, delighted… even when I am. It's a bit like life pressing a mute button on the eyebrows. My inner life is still full of weather, but my face sometimes looks like still water.
The irony isn’t lost on me: people are paying for Botox to look unreadable, while I’m getting the same effect courtesy of my own nervous system. No appointment necessary. And here’s the kicker: Botox, the thing people use to get that blank-slate look? It’s also used medically to treat Parkinson’s symptoms - like tremors and muscle spasms. So while one person’s chasing youth in a syringe, another’s chasing steadiness. It’s the same little vial, just aimed at different kinds of longing.
The Cost of Botox (and What Parkinson’s Gave Me for Free)
The cost of Botox varies wildly, but suffice to say it isn’t cheap. Just having your forehead done can set you back anywhere from $99 to $330. Two areas? Try $290 to $400 - every 3 to 4 months. I had no idea. Look at Parkinson’s giving back! Think of the money I’ll save on injections… and on achieving that so sought-after look, all by natural means.
People pay hundreds to erase their frown lines for three months. Mine? Permanently comped. Parkinson’s might not be the fairy godmother I ordered, but she sure waved her wand over my forehead.
Two ways to soften the edges: one through chemistry, one through surrender.
Wrinkles as Medals: A Call to Honour the Face You've Earned
Age should be something we honour, not something we politely ignore or actively conceal. I don’t mean in the patronising “you’re only as old as you feel” way, or the way older women are trotted out for magazine spreads once a year in some kind of inspirational exception-to-the-rule feature. I mean real honouring - the kind that sees wisdom, depth, and hard-won perspective as beautiful in their own right. We've lived through loss, menopause, heartbreak, reinvention, and the slow shift from visibility to being overlooked - and still we show up. That should command respect. It should sparkle.
Agnetha Faltskog in 2023 - A face that has carried melody, mischief, and memory - and wears them all.
Enhancement vs Erasure: Knowing the Difference
There’s a difference, I think, between enhancing what you have and rejecting what is. Threading my eyebrows, painting my nails, tinting my lashes - these things feel like celebration, a kind of reverent polishing of what already exists. They help me feel more me. But Botox? That feels like something else entirely. Not an honouring of the face I’ve earned, but a quiet refusal of it.
It's not about highlighting what’s already there; it’s about softening something the world has decided shouldn’t be visible - age, experience, emotion. And while I understand the choice, I can’t quite make peace with it for myself. I’d rather be a woman with expression than one without a wrinkle. Ageing is a truth, not a flaw. To me, there’s something quietly radical about accepting that truth - especially in a world so desperate to Photoshop it out.
Why I’ve Never Had Botox (and Why I Probably Won’t)
I’ve never had Botox. Not because I think I’m better than it - I just don’t like what it takes away. I like lines. I like seeing someone laugh in their eyes as well as their mouth. I like watching someone’s face crinkle when they’re confused or touched or quietly furious. Plus, I don’t need Botox to freeze my face - Parkinson’s has me covered. But I’ll take every flicker of expression while I’ve still got it.
Proof that joy leaves its mark — and thank god it does.